He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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