so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize