she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
