I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
