Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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