Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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