Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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