I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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