Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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