You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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