Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
