let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
