Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
