We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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