I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
