I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They have beer where we have blood.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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