The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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