like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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