The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
