So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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