I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
two words: eviction party
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize