8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
