wakey wakey hands off snakey
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
