So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
