ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
