i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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