it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you didnt know i had herpes?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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