The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
