I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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