i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
