Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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