we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
