I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.