found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions