Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.