he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.