I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
