Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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(817): View more from Texas

I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.

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(850): View more from Florida

Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.

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(760): View more from California

I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"

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