Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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(973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now? http://tfl.nu/r8kl

Replies (12) Good night (2730) Bad night (586)
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(540): View more from Virginia

she says it's "been amazing lately"

(540): View more from Virginia

i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half

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(540): she says it's "been amazing lately" (540): i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half http://tfl.nu/wgvp

Replies (27) Good night (3631) Bad night (861)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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(404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl

Replies (168) Good night (5960) Bad night (6785)
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(509): View more from Washington

why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?

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(509): why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings? http://tfl.nu/epiw

Replies (9) Good night (1115) Bad night (3305)
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(904): View more from Florida

Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable

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(904): Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/aevh

Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (3575)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

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(479): Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody. http://tfl.nu/gh8f

Replies (17) Good night (7385) Bad night (1156)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

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(860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes

Replies (11) Good night (1409) Bad night (2777)
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(734): View more from Michigan

he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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(734): he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?' http://tfl.nu/pjxw

Replies (4) Good night (2248) Bad night (948)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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(610): You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude. http://tfl.nu/8276

Replies (6) Good night (1769) Bad night (706)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

(1-985): View more from Louisiana

Do I have a choice?

(985): View more from Louisiana

I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

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(985): Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response. (1-985): Do I have a choice? (985): I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again. http://tfl.nu/kt0k

Replies (13) Good night (2893) Bad night (679)
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(850): View more from Florida

Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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(850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh

Replies (24) Good night (1401) Bad night (733)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.

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(613): I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots. http://tfl.nu/b0ef

Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (492)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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(775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (509)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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(617): The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight. (1-617): Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it. http://tfl.nu/ikoi

Replies (7) Good night (1782) Bad night (437)
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(310): View more from California

I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.

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(310): I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting. http://tfl.nu/ex4c

Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (455)

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