I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.