Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home

(248): View more from Michigan

r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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(847): View more from Illinois

She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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(540): View more from Virginia

you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So was this before or after he cried about trump?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

After

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.

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