'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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