I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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