flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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