If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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