she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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