don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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