i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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