Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
