is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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