dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
