i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize