I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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