yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
