There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
