Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
