I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
