Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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