Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize