What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
