yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
