I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
