Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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