Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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