I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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