Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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