hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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