Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
