Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
