i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dignity is for republicans.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
