I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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