check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
